PART 1 of a MASSIVE Catch-Up Blog

November 30^th, 2010

It appears I've completely lost touch with this blog. As I sit in the terrace in the Union at UWM, I've tried thinking the last time I've sat down to write about what's current in my life. It's been far too long. A lot has happened. I wrote a rejected TV show, made two shorts, lost people in my life, saw some fun movie, did some art, and am producing a series of short films. So much I could be writing about, but, yet it goes unwritten. I wonder why I've gotten so lazy.

So, I guess I should just go back to what I would consider the beginning. Let's talk about that TV show I mentioned. Since it's no longer being picked up for the Fall season, I feel I can freely talk about it. I won't give away many plot points or anything, because I plan to hold onto the pilot and try to sell it later.

It began around the end of September, beginning of October. This time was busy enough. I was then working at both Halloween Express and Humboldt Park Elementary plus I was going to school full-time and trying to be in an artistic field. Needless to say, I was very busy. How I took on another task is beyond me. Anyways, my old friend Nuna (director of indie-horror film “Brutal”) contacted me about a potential TV deal he had in the works with a former NBC agent out in Hollywood. At the time he didn't give me much except a very general premise and the notion of me joining as the show's head writer. I was stoked, to say the least.

I was nervous at first. I never wrote a pilot for a TV show. To have a cut off point would be hard. The closest I've done to a TV script was a web show a friend of mine and I were (and still are) working on. But, those are only 12 to 15 pages each. This has to be an hour. So, that's like, 45 to 50 pages. I was also worried, because I'm not as harsh on TV as I am on film. I find myself taking more chances with TV shows (thank you DVR). Hell, I've even caught myself watching a poor show simply because “it's nothing special, but it's entertaining”. Nuna, on the other hand, is a harsh judge of TV. He doesn't watch it much and he doesn't like most of it. The two other people I would later bring on are about the same, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was also worried because up until this point I've written for myself. My way of doing things is I finish a draft, then move on to a new project. The chance of me sending something out and selling it as this point is slim, so re-writes aren't essential. The base is there for when I need it and that way I can update it when needed. Also, if the script is for something I'm making, I can make changes on the spot. I have a very impromptu way of shooting that, isn't the “right way”, but works for me.

The problems began when Nuna presented me the idea. We would later find out it's not the idea he pitched to the agent, but whatever. I liked Nuna's idea a lot, but I did have a few concerns. He told me I had the ability to run with it and do my own thing. I got even more excited. Finally, an outlet. The idea he gave me went something like this:

(note, I can't remember word for word, so I apologize)

'It's about two guys. Let's name them Nuna and Keith for now. Nuna is a former priest turned tattoo artist whose looking for the man who killed his sister who was Keith's fiance. It's based on Revelations 11 and the killer may be the anti-christ. I want it to play out like 'Lost' where everything happens from the beginning but with a 'Supernatural' feel.'

I had some issues, mainly the Supernatural influence and the religious undertones. It's about the mythology rather than the ideology, which can be just as hard to deal with because to consider it to be “mythology” can be frowned upon. But, I liked the idea and was given control.

I began to freak out though. How the hell do I begin this? The agent wanted us to write and direct a rough pilot to send to him that he can send out and try to sell during the Fall season. We had until Thanksgiving. That's not a lot of time.

I think I like making things hard on myself because the first person I chose to approach was my good friend, Riley. The issue with this is, as productive as we can be, we argue... a lot. We don't always see eye to eye and we've had some pretty large arguments over some very stupid things (some are still going on today). Luckily, we saw eye-to-eye on this, and Riley has a lot of knowledge about religious mythology, philosophy and what not. I have a huge interest in it and such, so it worked.

We began devising a draft that, to me, felt like Supernatural (reluctantly) meets Twin Peaks with the visual style of No Country For Old Men with some Neil Gaiman flare (a big influence on me).

Before I continue, I feel I should mention why I'm so against Supernatural. Nothing against the show. I'm not a huge fan, but per Nuna's request I checked out a few episodes. My problem is, I felt he was TOO influenced by this show. I was way more intrigued in his Carnivale influence, but I digress. The issue with Supernatural being his influence is, if we aren't careful we could become a clone. No one wants that. I don't want people to go: “Oh! I dig how this is like Supernatural.” Luckily, Riley used to watch the show, but wasn't as invested as Nuna and Greg, who we brought on, but sadly didn't use to his ability besides plot outlining and a well written synopsis, never saw it. So, that way, if something became too much like Supernatural, we can't be blamed because we never watched much of it. For Riley and I, Doctor Who was our Supernatural. So, our views clashed, but it could be fun. It was fun... in a way.

So, pretty much Greg, Riley and I finally got a first draft done. Needless to say... it was short. I'd like to think I was under compensating for something, but whatever. It was only like 25-30 pages, when I need like, 45 to 50. But, it was a good start. I showed it to Nuna and he liked it. Keith, the other dude involved (I guess) liked it. We were set. At this point, since almost every night Nuna was calling me and we were talking about the show and was giving me assignments. Being head writer, I thought I'd be ballsy and ask for an executive producer title to go with my head writer title. I didn't think that was asking too much because, 1) head writer normally is an executive producer anyway, and 2) it's really more of a name than anything else. Now, let me say this now. Had I known how much I would be doing for this damn show, I was have asked for a straight-up producer title right off the back, because, essentially, Riley and I were producers. I started by doing everything and being Nuna's voice. I was Moses and Nuna was the burning bush up on the tippity top of the mountain. Then, I had a slight nervous breakdown and wasn't sleeping, so Riley took over and quickly realized why I had the breakdown. Learning is fun, isn't it?

Throughout the process of writing we were given more and more work. Every time I'd finish a draft there would need to be changes. Usually big changes too that would be cause enough to do a complete re-write. I didn't mind because the story got better and better as it went on and more and more people liked it. We felt it had potential. That, coupled with the pretty intense storyline we were working on, we felt we could have a truly great project.

We were also given the tasks of not only finding an actor to play a silent killer (but we ignored an important character with dialogue), but finding locations to shoot in but a special effects guy. This is where Nuna and I butt heads a lot. He wanted special effects and some crazy insight dreams. I didn't mind that, but I didn't want it in the pilot. I wanted it to be shootable ASAP because our deadline was fast approaching. I didn't want to worry about effects. Plus, I go to an art school where experimental and avant garde rules the program. Finding an FX guy would have been hard. But he was dead set on it, so I did my best. Nuna is a good friend so I thought I should try. Riley found two guys, but we never once saw a piece of work from them, and as far as I'm concerned, they suck. If I could remember their names I'd trash them. But I can't, so I won't.

It was pretty cool that half-way through everything Nuna gave me the title of co-creator. That really made me excited.

Moving on to, I want to say, 3 or 4 weeks before the deadline. We haven't begun shooting. We haven't even decided on the script! Nuna had issues with it. He said he lost his connection with the characters and I had too many locations and blah, blah, blah. Had we had more time, I wouldn't have minded going back and re-working it. I'm he first to admit the script wasn't perfect, but with the little time we had a rough draft had to be a shooting script. At this point Nuna was talking less about Supernatural and more about Carnival and the X-Files. At this point, we shouldn't have been worrying about that. We needed to film something. Get SOMETHING to the agent.

Well, it got down to the point where we had to film. Recruited a friend and fellow film student named Scott to play the killer. He was perfect. Very professional. We had planned to film most of the first big fight scene on that friday. I got to set, and I got excited. Nuna was getting his infamous Joker face tattoo covered with make-up, which, was so odd to see his natural face again. He took a lot of time with his character's look (I described it as being a punk rock Peter Cushing). Keith was just, Keith. No thought into what he was wearing. But whatever. Nuna's house wasn't perfect for what I had written, but it was doable. We'd just go off book and do what had to be done. I got nervous though, when 15-minutes before we start rolling, I asked Nuna how he wanted to direct this scene and he said “Oh, I thought you were directing”.

Needless to say, I freaked. To direct a director and to use equipment you're not familiar with is scary. Even more scary because their's a chance this could be on TV. I kept worrying that if I didn't do the show Nuna's way things would go bad. I eventually got more into the mindset I had to do it my way, but my way of filming is different than Nuna's, which is weird, because I developed my style in part by watching him while working on Brutal. I looked up to him. But, now I felt like we were on different plains and thinking as far as how a scene should be put together. I'm still very guerrilla and he's trying to do things more professional with monitors and multiple camera set-ups.

After the shock of directing wore off, I took a few deep breaths and face my fear. Like my hero, Hunter S. Thompson, once said: “Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed.” I was so ready to do the scene... until our entire shoot was halted... because of a smoke machine...

Yes, I said it. One smoke machine ruined a shoot. Now, this next part is up to some debate. But first, a lesson:

In a film, smoke machines are used to create atmosphere and mood. Plus, it creates rays of light and depth of field. It can be a cool effect.

Now, that being said. Here is where the debate begins. Nuna claims this is used in every movie. I'm not sure if he means every MOVIE or every SCENE within said movie. I'm sure most movies have used this trick at least in one shot. But I refuse to believe it's used in every scene. I'm sure I can go through my 200+ DVD/Blu-ray collection and find at least 10 movies that don't use it. So, to throw an entire day of shooting out the window because of fog really sucks. They only positive thing about this is by shooting Saturday morning, we can set the scene in the time of day I wrote. Early morning.

TO BE CONTINUED... (promise)

Wow, Talk About Neglect...

Yeah, time for one of my awesome bi-monthly updates.

If you know me in person this'll be a recap, but whatever. I've been busy. Not even an excuse but a legitimate term. I work two jobs, go to school, do the filmmaking game on the side (which ends up being most of what I do) and I'm writing a television pilot. With that last responsibility comes the titles "Co-Creator/Executive Producer/Head Writer" and it's killing me. Only a few weeks left, though. Once Halloween Express closes for the season not only will my sleep cycle be back to normal, but I can finally rest and take my time. Hell, I can even do homework and play my oh-so neglected guitar on a regular basis.

Plus, I've been writing a journal. Now, that being said, don't get jealous my devoted readers (all three of you), I don't really write it like I write this. That's more observations and drawings. Started as something for a class but I ended up liking it, so I shall continue it. I'll go more into detail when I have time to do more of these. Trust me, I'll get back into the habit of doing these.

P.S. What's the correct form? Film making or filmmaking. I SHOULD know this... but I don't...

Headache

I guess the point of this post is to update everyone. Currently, I'm working two jobs, going to school and trying to do the whole filmmaker thing on the side.

Let's start with the jobs. The first is the job I've been doing for the last three years; working at Halloween Express. I love this job. I do. It just takes up a lot of my free time. I then work on Friday's with kids at after school activities. So much of my free time goes to these that when I do have free time, I'm doing homework. Goody.

My next big thing is school. I love it, but the homework kills me. If I could just stick with the film work I'd be golden. It's the math and science shit that kills me. It sucks. Especially now when I have film projects coming up I need to do. Even more annoying is the Film Equipment Room changed it's hours which really do not work for my schedule. I'll have to come to campus on my days off now. Joy.

Finally, the whole filmmaker thing. I love it, but it's stressful. As of right now I have one full length film that's 3/4 of the way done and I can't seem to finish. I have the ending, just can't get it there. Then, I have three shorts that have consumed my brain. One is a fantasy film, the other a comedy and the other a drama. I'll give more details at a later time. The big thing is, I want to use one of these for my final project but it'll be hard. The fantasy is out. Too much to do for that one. The comedy may be doable, but I'll need to get creative and the drama, which is the most doable, has no real ending.

On top of that, I was asked to write the pilot for a TV show for a friend. I'd love to do it, but I have such a tight deadline and have NO details that I'm starting to freak out. I need this job, but, at the same time, will it be the final nail in the coffin? Stay tuned to find out!

The Citizen Kane of Bad Cinema?

I've been trying to fit as much as I possibly can into my last week or two of summer before I go back to the grind of school. Everything from staying out late to midnight showings of movies I love.

Okay, I exaggerate, it's only been one midnight showing, but it was a movie I love. I saw a midnight showing of The Evil Dead at the Oriental Theater. It was a really neat exploitation/grindhouse theater experience. It showed schlocky trailers for cult classic films that feature outrageous stories and even more outrageous gore. I love it. I love cult cinema and have a very open mind for it. The film and all of it's trailers were presented in 35mm film. I got to see one of my favorite movies on film in an amazing theatre filled with people.

This being said, there are some films that confuse me. I don't get why they're so popular. The other day my friends Greg and Vanessa invited me to a little double feature of bad films that they were holding. The first film was Trey Parker's musical story about Alfred Packer, "Cannibal! The Musical" and Tommy Wiseau's psuedo-drama "The Room". It was the first time I have seen them. I didn't know anything about "Cannibal" but I've heard so much about "The Room". It has a wicked big fan base and is considered "the Citizen Kane of bad cinema". With this much of a build-up, I was expecting something amazingly bad but amazingly fun. I was wrong. I really don't get the big deal about "The Room".

Now, I know some people are going to say "Oh, you don't get this kind of cinema" or "you haven't seen it in a theatre with all the games and what not". Well, first, I do get this kind of cinema. Second, I don't feel one needs to play "games" while watching a movie to enjoy it and third, we did play all of these games while watching. It's bad, yes. But it's not all that funny. It was like a porno with more story. There is nothing in this movie that makes me want to come back to it like, say, The Evil Dead, Plan 9 From Outer Space or Class of Nuke 'Em High has. Am I happy I saw it? Yes. Was it fun to see with friends? Yes. Is it as great as everyone makes it out to be? No. Well, not to me atleast.

There are two types of bad movies. Bad movies which were made truely believing they were good and there are movies that were made to be bad on purpose. For me, The Room doesn't know what it wants to be. I've heard some say Wiseau made it intentionally to be funny, when I've heard from others that that wasn't the case. I'm leaning towards the later. Seriously, a guy that doesn't know the difference between High Def and Standard I don't think gets how to be intentionally bad. I think he realized his masterpiece was really bad and just milked it.

I do, on the other hand, have to give him credit. Somehow this man raised something like 3 million dollars by himself to fund this movie. He then had it released and created a fan base. That's impressive no matter how you spin in and I have to respect that. Even with that, though, I can't seem to be able to get behind this film. To me, there's a big difference between say, Edward D. Wood, Jr. and Tommy Wiseau. The difference, for me, is: Ed got filmmaking. He truely did. He understood what made it good, what made it bad and what he had to do. He just sucked at it, but he made the best damn movies he could! You can feel it! Tommy Wiseau, on the other hand, doesn't get it. You'd think a movie that had 3 million shilled into it would be a bit more fun.

I hope all of the fans of The Room and Tommy Wiseau (that includes the Tim and Eric fans, because I've heard he was on the show) don't completely hate me. No offense was intended, just ranting in one of the few forums I know someone may actually see it.

The Wheels of Fire Have Begun To Turn Again...

It sure has been a while since I've updated this. I've felt it's useless to update if I have nothing of importance to talk about. Well, I finally have something to say. I'm involved in a new project: Producing Void (blue).

I'm sure I've spoken about this project before, but I'll re-cap in case I haven't. Greg, a friend of mine in film school, made a film in High School called "Void". It was an eerie video that I still don't quite understand but reminds me of a modern-day fairytale for some reason.

Well, a year or two later, he has felt it's time to re-investigate the idea and re-make and extend it. Void was Evil Dead and this is Evil Dead -- part re-make part new idea. Well as he was writing it he asked if I wanted to Produce. I accepted.

For almost an entire semester, which isn't that long, we've been preparing. We still aren't completely ready to begin full-on production but we have enough to shoot a few scenes.

We shot the first scene on Monday. It wasn't the fun, easy shoot I was hoping. Greg recently had surgery and couldn't do a lot of heavy lifting. I was still sick from a few days before. The school was hot as hell and the two hours we were there felt like four.

I'm not sure how much I can go into as far as the scene goes, but it involved a canvas, trick photography and a rather annoying dolly shot we tried to do with a computer chair. I'm not sure how many of you have tried to use a computer chair as a dolly, but it's hard because it doesn't like to go in a straight line. Ours liked to veer left. That was annoying.

After the day of shooting I was feeling light headed and annoyed. Greg seemed stressed. I'm not sure how the footage turned out. I heard it was good, but I'm still worried about sitting down at the editing room and playing with it. We'll have to see.

I promise a better update is to come.

Estrogen Deprived: More than a Show?

Hey everyone. I'm aware it's been sometime since I've updated this. I've needed the break, but I thought I'd fill all my readers in on what's going on.

Yes, I'm sure all of my readers are people I know in person and know what's going on, but writing this diatribe is cathartic so I shall continue to do so.

I guess I should talk about my current projects. Well, I've been using all of this free time as of late to do some writing. I wrote a monologue for a character in Greg's soon-to-be developed opus, Void, and I've been working myself back into the right mindset to finish Yes, Matilda..., but it's been harder than I thought. I'm reading the one year anniversary of when I started it. Perhaps I'll have a party to celebrate my procrastination. Anyone want to come?

Instead of finishing Matilda, like I should, I've been working on a project with Samual Fink. Since I don't think I've talked about him up to this point, I'll describe him. He's in the military and has a big TV and a lot of free time. I've known him a long time. Great. Now that that's out of the way I can explain the project. It's a internet show called Estrogen Deprived (working title). It spawned from a psuedo-documentary thingy we wanted to do called Michael, Let's Go to the Comic Book Store and it became this. It's about two guys who created a comic book and their continuing struggles with love and the other annoying things in life. Original right? HA!

Estrogen Deprived is more than a TV show. It's a general feeling that has filled me as I write. The lack of a significant other at times gets annoying. So, I use that angst in the writing. Do I always feel bad about it? No. Does it hit me at times? You bet. It all goes back to the people who can get a significant other with very little trouble at all and as soon as it goes south they say "Oh, it's SO much better to be single". I say bullshit. It's better for you because you can easily find someone new. People like me, who have to work at it, single life sucks. A lot. It's not that we're constantly depressed, but still. Pretty much, to those who say single life is the best, I say, fuck you. Thank you.

Anywho, as far as the show goes, I'm on episode three. I have 8 more left to write. Our goal is to finish it in July and film in August. That's the plan, anyhow. Let's hope. So far it's going well. A few creative differences but other than that no complaints. I just hope I can stay focused.

I apologize for the disjointed feel of this blog. I'm out of practice and I think I'm getting the beginning stages of arthritis in my fingers. Oh well.

The Premiere

It truly has been awhile since I felt the need to update this. It's not that I haven't had stuff to say, because I have. It's I didn't have the need. Why? I can't quite explain why. I enjoy writing these blogs for all six people who probably read it. Am I lazy? Perhaps. I've been known to be quite lazy on occasion. Have I been busy? Yes. Any artist who says they aren't isn't doing their shit right. What's odd is, I've always been lazy. I've always been busy, yet, that's never stopped me before. If anyone has a reason for why they think I haven't updated in some time let me know. I love hearing half baked theories.

Now on to the premiere. As you've read, my film's done. It's been done. I had some editing to do, but that's to be expected. I can always find sometime new to edit or fix or not be happy with. Such is the life of an artist. You'll like something, dare say love it when it's being made or freshly finished, but you then slowly begin to detest your creation. You look at it almost as if you're looking in a mirror and asking it, thus asking yourself: "why the fuck can't you be better!"

Art is one of those things that's hard to be completely happy with. When you've created something it's never exactly how you envisioned it. There is always things you left out or pieces that are missing. It's like growing up and you never have all the pieces for a puzzle. At least I never did.

I've met very few artists who have been happy with their piece. It doesn't matter the media. I feel there can always be improvements. At times you can't see them or don't have the means to make the improvements, but it can be done. Do you think Edvard Munch was completely happy with "The Sick Child"? Did Cecil B. DeMille feel "The Greatest Show On Earth" was flawless in every way? Did the New York Dolls think they surpassed Mozart when they released their self-titled debut? Probably not. An artist who feels his work is perfect in every way is an artist who has either lost his spirit, is blinded by money and success, or doesn't respect his work enough. Not saying it's bad to make money. We all want to make money doing what we love, but there's a point where it becomes too much. It's called selling out.

Selling out is a word a lot of people use without really thinking about it. To sell out means to stop making the music you want to make to make the music the people writing the checks wants you to make. When you've lost your artistic credibility is to sell out. Making money is not selling out. The Ramones never sold out. They just became popular. There's a difference.

I feel I've ranted enough. I kind of lost track about what I was saying, so I'll just simultaneously end the rant and begin a new thought with... the premiere.

The premiere, also called "Strange Little Things", was a thing that Greg set up with Morgan and I. I use the word thing because I'm not sure what to call it. It wasn't a festival. It wasn't really a true premiere because all the glitz and glam was nonexistent and showing sounds like something a streaker would do. I felt dirty each and every time I said it. I still do. Showing... such a filthy word. This was a thing because it was a very impromptu event (even though it was planned) where it felt more like a get together of hip individuals and family members than anything else. We tried to make it fancy. We sorta dressed up. I was in a pseudo dressed-up state with my all black attire and random punk rock buttons. I felt a bit like Robert Smith without the make-up, but I'm ok with that. Thanks go to Amanda for a-ok on the attire. We also used a microphone, which was unneeded for the 40 people that showed up. We also have some very sensual lighting. The UWM Film Department: Touch of Class.

At this "thing", we each presented a body of work mostly spanning through our first semester at UWM with a piece of work or two from High School by Greg and I. My film "Commedia dell'arte" showed. The transfers were bad and it was, at that point, not in it's final stage. I also showed my laughably bad B-movie tribute from high school called "Staring Back at Me" and a film from last semester called "A Short Film about Almost Something".

I went first. I had to speak to an audience. I had a live mic. I'm impressed I didn't swear. I looked at my feet and just spoke. It was a blur. Not sure what I said. Ask around for me and find out if it was bad. There were laughs. Not sure if that's good or not. I was happy when I was done.

Morgan showed "Unforseen" (video), "Tiny Dancer" (16mm) and "LUCID" (16mm). Greg showed "Mr. Pesti Has Cold Hands But a Warm Heart" (video), "The Artist" (16mm), "The Lady in Black" (16mm) and his most popular film, "Void: Festival Cut".

It was a fun night. My stomach turned when my stuff was showing. It was also embarrassing switching DVDs during the show and going through the DVD menu as the audience watched. Had I had time I would have tried to make it into performance art. Oh well.

We were taking donations for the re-imagining of Greg's film Void. I'm the editor and producer and I think co-director of photography. We made 76 dollars. I was happy. Greg was so-so. Vanessa was extremely giddy which helped and talking to a friend pre-show calmed me down.

We'll hopefully be selling DVDs of the evnt at some point. We'll re-transfer our shit so you'll get decent quality stuff. My first year as a film student is almost up. I don't feel any different. I just feel like a poor filmmaker trying to make a go at it. Hopefully that'll improve because I love making films, so it would suck making bad movies forever. Well, I think they're bad. I have some fans though, I guess.

Thanks for reading. I'll try to update more.