The Premiere

It truly has been awhile since I felt the need to update this. It's not that I haven't had stuff to say, because I have. It's I didn't have the need. Why? I can't quite explain why. I enjoy writing these blogs for all six people who probably read it. Am I lazy? Perhaps. I've been known to be quite lazy on occasion. Have I been busy? Yes. Any artist who says they aren't isn't doing their shit right. What's odd is, I've always been lazy. I've always been busy, yet, that's never stopped me before. If anyone has a reason for why they think I haven't updated in some time let me know. I love hearing half baked theories.

Now on to the premiere. As you've read, my film's done. It's been done. I had some editing to do, but that's to be expected. I can always find sometime new to edit or fix or not be happy with. Such is the life of an artist. You'll like something, dare say love it when it's being made or freshly finished, but you then slowly begin to detest your creation. You look at it almost as if you're looking in a mirror and asking it, thus asking yourself: "why the fuck can't you be better!"

Art is one of those things that's hard to be completely happy with. When you've created something it's never exactly how you envisioned it. There is always things you left out or pieces that are missing. It's like growing up and you never have all the pieces for a puzzle. At least I never did.

I've met very few artists who have been happy with their piece. It doesn't matter the media. I feel there can always be improvements. At times you can't see them or don't have the means to make the improvements, but it can be done. Do you think Edvard Munch was completely happy with "The Sick Child"? Did Cecil B. DeMille feel "The Greatest Show On Earth" was flawless in every way? Did the New York Dolls think they surpassed Mozart when they released their self-titled debut? Probably not. An artist who feels his work is perfect in every way is an artist who has either lost his spirit, is blinded by money and success, or doesn't respect his work enough. Not saying it's bad to make money. We all want to make money doing what we love, but there's a point where it becomes too much. It's called selling out.

Selling out is a word a lot of people use without really thinking about it. To sell out means to stop making the music you want to make to make the music the people writing the checks wants you to make. When you've lost your artistic credibility is to sell out. Making money is not selling out. The Ramones never sold out. They just became popular. There's a difference.

I feel I've ranted enough. I kind of lost track about what I was saying, so I'll just simultaneously end the rant and begin a new thought with... the premiere.

The premiere, also called "Strange Little Things", was a thing that Greg set up with Morgan and I. I use the word thing because I'm not sure what to call it. It wasn't a festival. It wasn't really a true premiere because all the glitz and glam was nonexistent and showing sounds like something a streaker would do. I felt dirty each and every time I said it. I still do. Showing... such a filthy word. This was a thing because it was a very impromptu event (even though it was planned) where it felt more like a get together of hip individuals and family members than anything else. We tried to make it fancy. We sorta dressed up. I was in a pseudo dressed-up state with my all black attire and random punk rock buttons. I felt a bit like Robert Smith without the make-up, but I'm ok with that. Thanks go to Amanda for a-ok on the attire. We also used a microphone, which was unneeded for the 40 people that showed up. We also have some very sensual lighting. The UWM Film Department: Touch of Class.

At this "thing", we each presented a body of work mostly spanning through our first semester at UWM with a piece of work or two from High School by Greg and I. My film "Commedia dell'arte" showed. The transfers were bad and it was, at that point, not in it's final stage. I also showed my laughably bad B-movie tribute from high school called "Staring Back at Me" and a film from last semester called "A Short Film about Almost Something".

I went first. I had to speak to an audience. I had a live mic. I'm impressed I didn't swear. I looked at my feet and just spoke. It was a blur. Not sure what I said. Ask around for me and find out if it was bad. There were laughs. Not sure if that's good or not. I was happy when I was done.

Morgan showed "Unforseen" (video), "Tiny Dancer" (16mm) and "LUCID" (16mm). Greg showed "Mr. Pesti Has Cold Hands But a Warm Heart" (video), "The Artist" (16mm), "The Lady in Black" (16mm) and his most popular film, "Void: Festival Cut".

It was a fun night. My stomach turned when my stuff was showing. It was also embarrassing switching DVDs during the show and going through the DVD menu as the audience watched. Had I had time I would have tried to make it into performance art. Oh well.

We were taking donations for the re-imagining of Greg's film Void. I'm the editor and producer and I think co-director of photography. We made 76 dollars. I was happy. Greg was so-so. Vanessa was extremely giddy which helped and talking to a friend pre-show calmed me down.

We'll hopefully be selling DVDs of the evnt at some point. We'll re-transfer our shit so you'll get decent quality stuff. My first year as a film student is almost up. I don't feel any different. I just feel like a poor filmmaker trying to make a go at it. Hopefully that'll improve because I love making films, so it would suck making bad movies forever. Well, I think they're bad. I have some fans though, I guess.

Thanks for reading. I'll try to update more.